I know this is kind of a morbid topic but it definitely relates to the difficulty of working overseas. 4 days ago, here in London, my uncle died suddenly of a heart attack. While my uncle hasn't had the best of health on and off, this was definitely a shock to the family and for me as it was the first time I had to deal with death so close to home while living away from our family and friends. Hubby and I were at least able to help my cousins and aunt in their time of need but it's been a surreal whirlwind of an experience. My parents flew in for roughly 48 hours because due to Islamic tradition, we had a short period as to when we could bury my uncle.
This is not meant to be a way to get sympathy from people but really a half "thinking out loud" mechanism as I contemplate how FSO families deal with sudden shocks like death. It's hard enough to live continuously overseas for extended periods of time, missing family and friends. As I thought about mortality these past few days and thought about how much I miss my parents as they got into a cab to go back to Heathrow, I had to wonder how long I can continue being far away from everyone I love. Before this shocking event happened on Wednesday, I was very much in a work groove. Everything that happened at work was sometimes more important than whatever was going on at home. You take for granted those missed phone calls with parents, you laugh that they miss you too much and will talk to them later. But at the same time I wonder how I could live in the US again after being so far away all the time. I haven't lived in the US continuously for a year for at least 3.5 years now.
I had a couple of days off from work but plan to go back tomorrow, here's to hoping I can get back into a "groove" again...
This is not meant to be a way to get sympathy from people but really a half "thinking out loud" mechanism as I contemplate how FSO families deal with sudden shocks like death. It's hard enough to live continuously overseas for extended periods of time, missing family and friends. As I thought about mortality these past few days and thought about how much I miss my parents as they got into a cab to go back to Heathrow, I had to wonder how long I can continue being far away from everyone I love. Before this shocking event happened on Wednesday, I was very much in a work groove. Everything that happened at work was sometimes more important than whatever was going on at home. You take for granted those missed phone calls with parents, you laugh that they miss you too much and will talk to them later. But at the same time I wonder how I could live in the US again after being so far away all the time. I haven't lived in the US continuously for a year for at least 3.5 years now.
I had a couple of days off from work but plan to go back tomorrow, here's to hoping I can get back into a "groove" again...
*hugs* I'm really sorry - I know how hard it is to be apart from your normal social safety nets in times of loss. It's really good to have an embassy community with you then, because chances are we all go through it at some point. When I lost someone in my family in 2010, she fell ill and died so quickly I couldn't make it home in time to see her. My consulate neighbors cooked for me for a few days until I could leave for home, because they knew I wasn't taking care of myself.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to reintegrate into the US after being overseas for so long, but it makes you treasure the time you have with your family there all the more.
My condolences to you and your entire family - you're all in my thoughts tonight.
thanks Hannah, I really appreciate it. It's true, we'll all go through this in our career and it doesn't ever get easier. The community does become so much more important in times like this. While I have good friends here, I have to say living in such a big city keeps you from having that real community feel. I definitely treasure friends and family so much more now.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about your uncle, Sharlina. I'm glad you were able to have your parents there, even for such a brief moment. Take care.
ReplyDeleteIt's so very hard. My mother died very suddenly (while hospitalized and theoretically stable) not long after we moved to Iceland. Not only was the sudden death difficult, but then handling the estate from afar and the necessary trips home. It's not something you think about, but definitely a concern for all of us...and not morbid, so much as realistic.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss!